Trepidation

We've all been there. At least those of us who have been overweight for any amount of time in our lives. We've all felt anxiety over stepping outside of our normal routines and comfort zones to do something different and potentially embarrassing or humiliating.
For me, the trepidation comes from envisioning my upcoming trip to an indoor water park with the family. In 5 days, my family (minus our 10 month old daughter who is staying with Grandma) is taking a short trip to Sandusky, Ohio to spend two days at Kalahari resort. There, we'll have 2 days to play in the HUGE indoor water park there. We've been there before, year and a half ago. I was pregnant then, so my anxiety was lessoned slightly because my weight was somewhat hidden by my bulging pregnant belly. My pregnancy was also an excuse not to have to do the more active and potentially embarrassing activities like going down the water slides.
This year I have no such excuses. My 11 year old daughter is looking forward to doing those things with me this time, and I can't even imagine what people are going to think of me awkwardly trying to fit in the inflatable tubes and flopping out at the end of the water slide looking completely awkward and unnatural. I wish I was in better shape so that I could have more energy and more flexibility and ultimately more confidence to enjoy myself at places like these. Not to mention the discomfort at having to wear a size 26 bathing suit in public.

The silver lining to this is that I'm moving in the right direction right now. I am two weeks into my eating plan with encouraging success and minimal speed bumps along the way so far. I feel positive, and I have a goal of 70 lbs in 8 months, with my 15 year high school reunion as a huge motivating factor for me at the end of that 8 months. I am determined to make this change, to stick with it and see it through. Next year when we visit Kalahari again, I will be much thinner and in much better shape!

Great day today

Today was a high point day, I had to eat 36 points. I did great, I was actually trying to fit in foos at the end of the day to get me up to my point target.

So I have had 3 consecutive days of perfectly following my eating plan. I feel good, and haven't been tempted too much to eat outside the plan.

Tonight I made a great recipe, Buffalo Chicken Lasagna. It was only 10 points for 1/4 of the whole pan, which I was VERY happy about, because I love me some lasagna. Usually. Usually I love me some lasagna, but today, not so much. The recipe calls for 1 cup of buffalo sauce to 3 cups of spaghetti sauce. I have made this recipe before and it turned out great, but I think I used mild wing sauce last time. This time I used Louisiana Hot Sauce, and only my 11 year old daughter ate much of it, because she's hard core like that. My husband politely ate a medium sized piece while guzzling water, and I only ate half my allotted portion, which left me with 5 points for the day that I needed to plan food for.

Here's what I ate today:

B:
24 frosted mini wheats, strawberry, with 1/2 cup skim milk- 4 pts
apple- 1 pt

L:
Lean Gourmet frozen meal, Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes- 4 pts
1 1/2 cups spinach and cucumbers- 0 pts
1/4 cup feta- 2 pts
2 slices turkey bacon- 2 pts

S:
14 carrots- 0 pts

D:
1/8 of Lasagna- 5pts
1 cup broccoli- 0pts
2 1/2 cups skim milk- 5 pts

S:
3/4 cup FF Breyers chocolate ice cream- 3 pts
2 Fun Size M&M bags- 4 pts
32 Reduced Fat Pringles- 6 pts


Yes, that's a lot of snacking at the end there. The ice cream with M&Ms on top was divine. I haven't ever eaten the Pringles yet, I am honestly not even hungry. I'm gonna go get them though, because I really believe that you need to follow the food plan exactly and eat exactly your allotted points in order to keep your body guessing so that the weight will consistantly come off. My rule is that if I have eaten all 5 f/v servings and all 3 dairy servings, I can use any left over points at the end of the day for snacks. So you know I'm LOVING being able to eat ice cream, M&Ms, and chips all in the same day and know that I'm gonna lose weight on Friday despite it!

And THAT, folks, is why I LOVE Weight Watchers!

Back on the horse.

Monday again.
I screwed up quite a bit over the weekend.

I am a food addict and I use food to deal with emotions. This is especially difficult for me because, although undiagnosed by a doctor, I am pretty certain that I have at least a mild case of bi-polar disorder. My brother has been diagnosed with it for years, and it only became apparent to me that I suffer from a lot of the same symptoms about a year ago.

So last week was a great week. For four days I was happy, hopeful, optimistic, energetic. I followed my eating plan perfectly and felt great about it. Then Friday hit me like a ton of bricks. As I'm noticing more an more lately, when I have a period of time like that (the manic period, they say of bi-polar people), it is always followed by a period of depression. I had that day on Friday. I ate breakfast in the morning (my normal dieting choice of breakfast) and then nothing until 7pm. I didn't do much as far as cleaning or expending any energy playing with the kids. I cared for them, but I didn't do much else.

When my husband came home, I told him how I was feeling. My emotions were somewhere between wanting to curl up in bed and cry, or wanting to throw something or hit something. None of which I did, mind you. I never give into impulses such as those.

He suggested I take a Welbutrin, which was prescribed to me months ago for my now-non-existent Postpartum Depression. I never took the pills back then because I was coming out of the PPD right around the time that the Dr. switched me from Prozac to the Welbutrin.

So I took a Welbutrin on Friday night, and to my surprise and pleasure, within an hour I was feeling more upbeat. I was then feeling pretty hungry, after all I hadn't eaten in over 8 hours. So we took the girls to the playplace at McDonalds and I threw in the towel on my diet that night. I planned to get back on the next day. Saturday came and went, and then Sunday, and now, here it is, a fresh week and a fresh resolve.

I felt incredibly motivated last night to get healthy and above all, lose weight. The biggest factor in the sudden urge of motivation? I RSVP'd for my 15 year High School Reunion on August 22. Yikes! I was super skinny in high school, and I have to admit that showing up there at my current weight is incredibly scary to me.

So I have 8 months to shed this weight, or as much of it as possible. I don't have time to fall off the wagon, and I don't have time for excuses.

Today is a new day, and I am determined to make this my Last Diet Ever.

I have already planned out my meals for the day today, and will update later tonight with those.

Right now, I'm off to finish my grocery list for this week, and them make myself my salad for lunch. :)

Still on track.

I didn't post yesterday, but I stayed completely OP. I ate exactly the number of points I was supposed to, and I got in all my f/v and dairy servings. Woot!

So that brings us to today, and I am proud to report that today was a great day as well, and I now have 4 days under my belt of following this eating plan. Today I only got 3 1/2 f/v servings in though, but I'm not beating myself up about it!

Last weekend when I made my menu and grocery list, I didn't realize just how many points are in a lot of the foods that we eat. Which surprises me because I have done Weight Watchers many times in the past few years. I think a big part of my problem this week is that I did my grocery shopping mainly at Aldi grocery store, because they're cheaper than anywhere else. But in saving a little money, I sacrificed the availability to variety in my choices, which hurt me in my recipes this week.
Yesterdays chicken and dumplings would probably have been much less points if I had used reduced fat crescent rolls and fat free cream of chicken and cream of celery soups. Same with tonight's barbecue pizza that we had for dinner. I used the other half of the chicken recipe that I made on Monday, which was pretty low as far as points go, but I used Jiffy pizza dough mix (very high in points) and a bag of part-skim mozzarella cheese which was also high points (part-skim apparently doesn't really mean reduced fat). So a slice (1/6 of the pizza) was 7 points! Thankfully, I always plan out my meals and points early in the day, so I was able to work in 3 pieces by skimping the rest of the day on points. But I could have eaten a lot more food throughout the day if I had made the dinner healthier and therefore less points.

I will be shopping at two stores this coming week, Aldi for some things and Wal-Mart (the next cheapest option for groceries) for the reduced-fat and fat-free things I need.

Also, concerning what I wrote in my last post concerning healthy oils- I said that Weight Watchers wants you to get in 2 servings of healthy oils per day. I have always skipped that part of the plan, and planned to do the same this time around. Until I watched yesterday's airing of Oprah, and Dr. Oz was on. He said (in a round-about way) that lack of Omega 3 fatty oils can make you depressed, and since I often suffer from depression and just recently arose from months of battling with post-partum depression, I really want to steer clear from anything that may make me feel any depression at all.

My solution? It's actually my husband's solution. Softgel 'Fish, Flax, and Borage" pills that we already had in our medicine cabinet. He bought them for himself a while back, and no longer takes them. They provide Omega 3, 6, and 9 fats, and one caplet is only 0.2 points. So if I take 2 caplets, it still counts as 0 points. How awesome is that? And best of all, I don't have to try to work icky oil into my meals and waste valuable points on it.

I'm not sure how many I need in a day, the bottle says take 1-2 daily. I'll go back and watch the Oprah episode and pay attention to the amount needed daily.

Ok, so on to the good stuff.

I was allowed 32 points today.
Here's how I did:

B:
3/4 Apple Cinnamon Cheerios with 1/2 cup of milk- 3 pts

S:
10 carrots- 0 pts

L:
1 1/2 cups spinach with cucumbers- 0 pts
1/4 cup feta- 2 pts
1 slice turkey bacon- 1 pt

S:
10 carrots - 0 pts

D:
3 slices bbq chicken pizza- 21 pts

S:
3/4 cup Breyers Fat Free Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream- 3 pts
1 fun size M&Ms- 2 pts

Day Two

These are some exciting post titles, huh? I've never been good at thinking of titles... :)

Today was another awesome day. It was a low point day, I was allowed 31 points and ate 31 exactly. We had an awesome dinner tonight, and I actually left the table feeling full.

I was perfectly on program (OP), ate 5 f/v servings and 3 dairy servings. Drank a ton of water-probably not quite 64oz, but a lot more that I normally consume. I think I got in about 50oz.
Weight Watchers wants you to get in 2 servings of healthy oil each day, but in the past I always skipped that rule and was still successful, so I'm opting out of it this time as well. Oil counts as a few points, and I can't see wasting my points on something nasty like oil. I am taking a daily vitamin, so I think that will hopefully give me what I need.

I was thinking about ordering Alli pills today. I have the money sitting in my Amazon account, and I'm thinking any little bit to help me along would be nice. Alli is supposed to block your body from absorbing 25% of the fat you take in each day, and reviewers on Amazon said that taken alongside a healthy diet and exercise, they lost 20-23 lbs in 5 weeks. That's twice what I typically lose while dieting, so I'm considering it.

Downside is that you pass greasy gas. Meaning that the fat that your body didn't absorb can be released in an oily form when you pass gas. Gross, right?

Sorry for the pretty picture there. I'm thinking if I wear a maxi pad, and try to avoid passing gas until I'm over a toilet, I may be able to avoid any nasty "side effects".

Anyways, something I'm thinking about.

Also, as far as exercise. So far, I'm doing nothing aside from normal physical activity that goes along with caring for 2 toddlers and cleaning house. We recently got a Wii Fit game, and before I took the opportunity to play it, my 2 1/2 year old put coins in the Wii's game slot, rendering it useless and making it necessary to send it in to Nintendo for repair. Now that I'm starting this Last Diet Ever, I'm anxious and eager to get it back (within the next 2 weeks) and see how good of a workout that Wii Fit really is.

Also, I'm gonna start walking on our Gazelle exercise machine tomorrow, my goal is at least 20 minutes a day, and getting longer as I get in better shape.

Lastly, I have a kick-ass Biggest Loser workout DVD. And by kick-ass, I mean it literally kicks my ass. It is TOUGH. Probably because I am ridiculously out of shape. But I'm trying to talk myself into doing it at least every other day, and doing the Wii Fit on the off days. I'm not quite to the commitment stage yet, I'm gonna give myself a good pep talk tonight and see where it gets me.

Ok, so what did I eat today?

B:
3/4 cup Apple Cinnamon Cherrios with 1/2 cup milk- 3
small orange- 1

L:
1 1/2 cup spinach with sliced cucumber (0) and 1/4 cup feta- 2

S:
10 baby carrots- 0

D:
5 Mexican Porcupine Balls (recipe below)- 10
1 cup yellow safron rice- 4
1 small ear of corn on the cob- 2
2 1/2 cups skim milk- 5

S:
Reduced Fat Cheddar Pringles (21 chips)- 4


One thing I'm noticing is that I am pretty hungry between lunch and dinner. I think it's because I'm having no protein for breakfast or lunch. I may start adding chick peas to my salad next week (after I go grocery shopping) to help tide me over. I was tempted to eat during the last hour before dinner, but I just munched some baby carrots and told myself that hunger is my friend. :)


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Mexican Porcupine Balls

I have made regular porcupine balls many times- ground beef or turkey, uncooked minute rice, and seasonings simmered on the stove in spaghetti sauce until done. But when shopping at Wal-Marts this weekend (which I never do) I was intrigued to find ground turkey in packages already seasoned. I picked up a 20oz package that was already seasoned for tacos. I then thought, 'What if I make porcupine balls with this taco flavored ground turkey, and simmered them in salsa instead?" The result was that they were phenomenal. I liked them better this way than the regular way.

The whole recipe is 38 pts. It would be less if you used a full can of salsa, but I only had half of a large jar, so I used that and a can of tomato soup. I don.t know if I would change it though, because it was really, really good this way.

• 20oz Ground Turkey seasoned with taco seasoning- 21 pts
• 1 1/2 cups Minute white rice (brown rice would probably be less points, and is what I typically use in porcupine balls, but I didn't have any)- 10 pts
• 1/2 large jar of salsa (sorry, don't know the oz. off hand, Hubs already took out the trash)- 2 pts
• 1 can condensed tomato soup, undiluted- 5 pts

In a large bowl, mix ground turkey and minute rice until well combined.
Form into golf-ball sized meatballs (I got 20 meatballs total) and place in a large pot.
Pour salsa and tomato soup over meatballs and holding the pot in both hands, swirl it around a bit to cover the meatballs. You don't want to stir them much at this point because they are soft and may crumble.
Put a cover on the pot and cook over medium heat for 10 minutes, after that they should be cooked enough to stir them around a bit, and then cook for 10 more minutes.

We always serve this with yellow saffron rice as a side dish. Delicious!

My favorite chili recipe ever!

I discovered this chili recipe about 3 years ago on one of my many stints in Weight Watchers. It is packed with veggies, which I would normally turn my nose up at, but this chili is delicious. Kind of a cross between chili and vegetable soup. Both my husband and I think it's delicious!

One Point Chili

* 10 oz. lean ground turkey
* 1 medium onion, diced
* 4 celery stalks, diced
* 2 green peppers, diced
* 2 medium zucchini, diced
* 2 medium yellow squash, diced
* 1 (15 oz.) can black beans, rinsed and drained
* 2 (15 oz.) cans Fat-Free, Reduced Sodium beef broth
* 2 (28 oz.) cans diced tomatoes
* 1 (1-1/4 oz.) package dry chili seasoning

1. Spray skillet with cooking spray and put over Med-Hi heat.
2. Brown turkey and onion about 5 minutes.
3. Transfer to soup pot and add all other ingredients.
4. Simmer over medium heat until veggies are tender, at least 30 minutes.

My variations to this recipe:

Above is the original recipe. I made a few changes to my likings, and to make the recipe a little simpler for me to make. I used a full pound of ground turkey. Doing this makes each serving 1.5 points, but I enjoy more meat in my chili. Also, I used frozen zucchini and squash (2 cups each), thawed and diced. I used a frozen stir-fry mix (2 cups, thawed and diced) which consisted of green, yellow, and red bell peppers and onions in place of the medium onion and 2 green peppers. I used a can of kidney beans in place of the black beans, because that's what I had on hand. Everything else was according to the original recipe. The only change I made that affects the points is adding the extra ground turkey.

Serving Size: 1 cup. Makes 20 servings.

Per Serving: 76 calories, 1 g. fat, 0 g. saturated fat, 8 mg. cholesterol, 270 mg. sodium, 11 g. carbohydrates, 3 g. fiber, 7 g. protein, 45 mg. calcium.

Day One

Today is the first day of my Last Diet EVER. A little delayed, I planned to start on Jan 1, but I got sick and didn't make it to the grocery store until yesterday.

Now the house is stocked with healthy foods, and I'm excited and ready to go!

Here's the planned menu for today:

(Today is a med. high point day, and I need to eat 33 pts. For more info on my diet plan, see the My Eating Plan tab at the top of the page)

Throughout the day, I'll be sipping from my 64oz bottle of water!

B:
3/4 cup Apple Cinnamon Cheerios with 1/2 cup skim milk - 3 pts
1 medium banana - 1 pt

L:
1 cup fresh spinach (0 pts) with 1/4 cup feta (2 pts) and sliced cucumbers (0 pts) - 2 pts
carrots - 0 pt
2 1/2 cups skim milk - 5 pts

S: apple - 1 pt

D:
Shredded BBQ Chicken (recipe below) - 1/6 of recipe - 8 pts
served over 2 medium baked potatoes - 3 pts
with 1/4 cup shredded cheddar- 3 pts
1/2 cup canned peas- 1 pt

27pts - still have 6 pts remaining for snacking.

My rule about snacking is that I only use points for snacks after I've eaten all of my fruit/vegetable servings (f/v) for the day, and only before 8:30 pm.

Not sure what my snack for the day will be tonight, right now I'm in more of a salty mood, rather than sweets, so maybe some Light Lays chips. I'll update later with what I ate and it's point value.

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Shredded BBQ Chicken - Total Points: 47, divided for two meals, 23.5 pts each. 1/3 of the recipe is 8 pts.
(I'm dividing this recipe in half, and using it for two meals. Served over baked potatoes tonight, and as a BBQ Chicken pizza later this week!)

• 6 boneless skinless chicken breast halves- 29 pts
  
• 18 oz bottle of bbq sauce (I used Aldis Kansas City BBQ) - 17 pts
• 1/2 cup Fat Free Italian dressing- 1 pt
• 1/4 cup Brown Sugar Twin (like Splenda, no calories or fat)- 0 pts
• 1 tbsp Lite Soy Sauce- 0 pts

Put it all in a crock pot and cook on high until done (3 or 4 hours).